Chuck Norris appreciation thread

[Spider Pig]

this ones for rizo lolz


Chuck Norris is THE MAN, he invented practically everything known to man..... so this thread should be used to appreciate him and his abilities

pls don't be shy to share.....


here are some quotes from other users of the internet, who appreciate what Chuck Norris has done for human beings



chuck norris can touch MC Hammer.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Umm, Chuck Norris once got in a knife fight...
The knife lost.

Chuck Norris is also probably, most likely your moma's pimp

chuck norris can slam a revolving door

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris

when chuck norris jumps into water, he doesn't get wet. the water gets chuck norris

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground

It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes

nobody can survive within a 5 metre radius around chuck norris, many have tried but no one has lived to tell the tale

A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter

Chuck Norris can speak braille

Chuck Norris can only be followed (tailed) upto a maximum of 3mins

Chuck Norris doesnt know where you were born, but he does know where youll die.

Chuck Norris was born with his beard and it hasn't grown since

chuck norris is so fearless that he runs across the freeway whilst holding a pair of scissors

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime

chuck norris once beat up a muel in a kicks only fight

chuck norris is so tough that he uses his bare hands to hammer nails

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own

When the fight starts, Chuck Norris doesn't touch gloves, he kicks face

[Rizolicious]

[Rizolicious]

we love you chuck !

[Spider Pig]

haha lolz, get the quotes posted

[Rizolicious]

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants

Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

On the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over.

Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world's hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.

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Chuck Norris invented water.
One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father.

In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation, Chuck Norris can be seen powering the USS Enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks.

Chuck Norris doesnt consider it sex if the woman lives

The atom bomb isn’t real.. It’s just Chuck falling out a plane and punching the ground..

God wanted to create the world in 10 days… Chuck Norris gave him 6.

There are actually 8 wonders of the world. Chuck Norris counts for 4 of them.

There Is No Such Thing As A Lesbian, There Are Just Girls Who Haven’t Met Chuck Norris

[Rizolicious]

[Spider Pig]

haha lolz man some of these are just too funny


chuck norris rules!

[Rizolicious]

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he is not dead, and will never die, but is capable of doing ALL of them things at once.

[fezzy]

o................k dis is all confusing!

[Rizolicious]

if you do not know chuck norris, you existance does not matter.
chuck norris is the coolest/hardest/amazing/perfect man on earth.
he can/has done everything

[Rizolicious]

this 1 is for mack and baz. lol

[fezzy]

i KNOW who chuck norris is...but i cannot believe he did everythin N INVENT WATER!?????????? how?