confused about my Bf/Ex

**as_27** · 02-12-2008, 20:42

we've known each other a few years.both 25.
he was always a cheat.i knew this.
when we first got together,there was no-one else.just me in his life.
i split up with him a few times,over nothing.then got back with him.
he then became addicted to drink and did mess around with girls (he admitted this to me)
nevertheless,i wanted to help him quit.
but found it so hard.
again,last week i split up with him.he rang me a few times,asked me not to do this but i did.
he has ex's contacting him on his phone..a cousin who is obsessed with him.he owes money to her,and she keeps blacmailing him.
he wont change his number.says he cant,not until he's paid off his cousin.

since we split up,he has text me a few times,just general malarky.
i feel so strongly for him.
atm,his priority is finding a job.i told him id help him.
so he sent me his cv to look at.

i dont know what to do.
i wish i could have the same guy back i did have before i started messing him around.
he said to me a few times 'im scared to get close to u again in case u hurt me like before'...i think thats why he wont let go of his booze/boys again.

please advise.

**M4RN1** · 02-12-2008, 20:44

firstly i think you should introduce yourself.

**as_27** · 02-12-2008, 21:01

on this thread?

**MR WHO** · 02-12-2008, 21:03

one thing i can say is.....he has a weak heart.......i hate weak hearted ppl...........
such weakness....
he will fail....never marry him...he will never change........

like another copy....an not an individual...

**as_27** · 02-12-2008, 21:08

thanks desi_gundam.
i am much stronger than him. we both know this about each other.
but his feelings subsided everything before.

im helping him look for a job? but its so hard being patient.
i dont want to be the one bringing up the relationship.
i want him to..

**as_27** · 02-12-2008, 21:10

what i dont understand is that he did this before.
quit everything.
but doesnt seem the part now..

**DJ B4VVY** · 02-12-2008, 21:15

Just get rid and leave it at that, don't keep in contact with him, it may hurt you but keeping in contact with him will hurt you even more.

**as_27** · 02-12-2008, 21:18

the problem is i really want to be with him.
i cant cut him out.
iv tried so many times.everytime though,i realise i cant be without him.
what hurts me more is knowing i lost something which was really good.
everytime,i try to get it back.
the question is how?
is my approach wrong?

im trying to keep busy,but this is really upsetting me.

**MR WHO** · 02-12-2008, 21:27

i wonder has he grown out his silly childish ways?
perhaps to him he feels... responsiblity is not of a task right now...

awww perhaps baby boy is missing out all the fun he might never have.......

why is he so weak...what is he gonna prove...

perhaps to him fun n game is always needed if a mate does it so he follows...

no individuality in him........

sorry u gotta let him go.....if u 2 ever get marraid he defo gonna cheat on you...

an dont u think so to...

his not commited enough....weakness such a weakness...

**as_27** · 02-12-2008, 21:28

i could really do with some advice.
we had marriage plans.we're both 25.

the last thing i told him was 'i cannot be with u until you get rid of all ths rubbish in your life'

after that,he contacted me last week saying 'i want to sort things out.help me with my cv/job if you can please.'
..ever since then,its just been casual texting..not really spoken.

is it the best approach to just help him with his job,and just leave the relationship talking?
i mean,if he wants to,he should bring it up.

**as_27** · 02-12-2008, 21:30

desi_gundam..he did when we were together before.
it was just about me,.
he had friends,but resisted anything bad.
soon after i broke his heart,i contacted him two months later.
we got back together..thats when i realised,he went back to how he was before.
then kept saying 'im scared of letting u in again.its a slow process,because i keep thinking youl just leave me again'

it didnt help that i actually kept doing that. on/off with him.
its been a bit of a puzzle,our relationship.

**Axii** · 02-12-2008, 21:30

girl this sounds all too familiar to me..! my goodness..

you cant not Be with someone you have to fix..they shud fix themselves..

let him work for you babe..you deserve better..keep tellin yourself dat..if he really wanted you..like really really...he wud work his damned hardest..

if he cant get out of the shithole is in. then it wasnt meant to be..

as for feelings? yeah youll cry, yeah its hard..yeah it sucks..but you jus have to deal with it..jus cry til you cant cry anymore..and get on with life..cos dats all you can do. cos life goes on..no matter what...

whatever happens happends for a good reason.

***~*LiL MiSs PaGaL*~*** · 02-12-2008, 21:31

all sounds a bit psycho to me

**MR WHO** · 02-12-2008, 21:32

i see...

i have not much else to say......................sorry

**as_27** · 02-12-2008, 21:35

thanks for the advice peeps.
axi i just keep feeling guilty that the reason he is this way is because of me leaving in the first place.
god knows,iv tried.
maybe i should let things take their own toll?
when we first got together,he left everythingout of choice.i suppose i cannot force it..it has to come from him.
i just wish wish so much i could turn back time.it hurts a lot.
i hope my worst enemy never feels like this.