To live out or not

**Confuzzled** · 16-08-2009, 16:56

I was reading Asiana magazine last night and there was an article saying more and more asian couples are moving out these days with there partners to try and see how would be living with their partners before marrying them ...

Would you consider doing this?

Yes, no or maybe - vote on the poll and please share opinions below...

**Zero** · 16-08-2009, 18:42

At least with marriage, its an official bond. If you're sleeping with one another, having sexytime and suddenly the next day you have a BIG argument, whats stopping you from walking out just like that?

Marriage would prevent that. Would force people to try and resolve rather than being hasty. I wouldn't agree personally.

**DJ B4VVY** · 16-08-2009, 19:51

I've always said though that gore got it right, they live with them and find out what they're really like before making a big commitment like marriage and then they will figure out if they do really want to get married to them or not. People always say that you don't know what someone is really like until you live with them so in an ideal world I would say yes I would like to move out with a partner before I get married to them but I know it ain't gonna happen with my parents being all backwards etc. they won't even let me move out by myself never mind anything else.

**diva2620** · 16-08-2009, 20:22

I plan to be living with my fella before marrying.

**Pretzel** · 16-08-2009, 20:43

Yup, see no problem... get a taster before taking anything further...

**Confuzzled** · 16-08-2009, 22:46

I personally dont agree with it.
Basically, our parents managed to do it when they got married...yeah times have changed and all that but if they can do it why cant we?
Its exciting to work at a marriage and live together to build your relationship - its nothing new and exciting when you've done it already

**DJ B4VVY** · 16-08-2009, 22:55

Originally Posted by *Mizz_Confuzzled*

I personally dont agree with it.
Basically, our parents managed to do it when they got married...yeah times have changed and all that but if they can do it why cant we?
Its exciting to work at a marriage and live together to build your relationship - its nothing new and exciting when you've done it already

That can also be said about sex. Times were different back then, there weren't so many nobheads around lol.

**Confuzzled** · 16-08-2009, 22:58

Lol you're right there...

But...the living together thing - I dont know its just something I'll do when I get married..

**stitches** · 10-10-2009, 01:03

i think it would be best to,i guess the best way to put it is "try before you buy"
mizz confuzzled touched upon the if our parents can do why cant we...
but could they really? or were they forced to? there was so much emphasis on keeping face back then, in my opinion today you can have what you want, you dont necessarily have to settle for any tom dick or harry. if you marry the person and find out your not sexually compatible, then what? or if you marry them and find out you have a completely different mentality... then what?
everyones entitled to their own opinions by all means, but i think it would be best to see if you can actually survive together before putting yourself in that extreme commitment.... after all divorce ratse are at their highest.

**stitches** · 10-10-2009, 01:04

although saying that i answered maybe... i would, i did. next time will be marriage.

**Zero** · 10-10-2009, 13:07

Divorce rates are at the highest according to what?

And you think its because couples don't know each other properly before getting married or do you think it's because of the collapse in marriage and pre-marriage values? Since many people these day's think marriage is just something that legally binds them. Looks like some people are going back to the caveman time and re-discovering their animal instincts..

**Scrooge** · 10-10-2009, 14:42

Adulterers, Divorcees - pretty sure 'goreh' havent got it right, but not sayin only goreh do it.

My mate at Uni got with his girlfriend in his 1st year, 'everything going great', 2nd year they decide to get an apartment together, 4 months later, hes moved in with us nd had broken up with her. Moving out nd living with your other half before hand doesnt necessarily mean its going to be all smelling of roses.

Marriage has no value left to it, divorce rates and other stats regarding marriage and sex will tell u the same, this maybe due to the 'novelty factor' wearing off, hormones in overdrive, having feelings for your best friend, wanting to bed someone else etc, u get the jizt?

I personally think why a lot of marriages mess up, is due to the 'trying before hand' method as someone mentioned before. How many people do u see going through shitloads of bf/gf relationships before they find the 'right one' and even then is that the right one? Putting yaself out on the market, testing nd being tested after a while can fuck with your head, coz your not seeing the results u wanna see and 'mr/mrs right' isnt coming along can leave alot of people mentally scarred, which leads to people who totally give up on marriage nd feel totally lost and hence creating a thread in the 'Love and Your Life forum'. LOL

For me personally, Iv sat down with my fiancee, she knows her part to play in our future nd I know my part and we're both happy with that, aslong as we get the fundamentals right early on, everything aswell will fall in place, Inshallah.

**MiSs** · 10-10-2009, 16:27

Originally Posted by Zero

At least with marriage, its an official bond. If you're sleeping with one another, having sexytime and suddenly the next day you have a BIG argument, whats stopping you from walking out just like that?

Marriage would prevent that. Would force people to try and resolve rather than being hasty. I wouldn't agree personally.

I agree with Zero and Scrooge ^

Me personally, Id rather wait till marriage.

**FLowEEzy** · 11-10-2009, 02:46

I read this too. To be honest I think only the most modern almost coconut type asians or asians approaching 30 would do this. Its taboo to have a relationship in a lot of asian cultures so moving in together is a no no.