Respect in a relationship.

[queen bee]

Why do people stay in relationships where they feel undermined. How can you continue loving someone without trust and respect present?

I know so many people, not just girls, who have been cheated on, lied to, slagged but still say its LOVE. How is it love? Unless its money/sex your after.

Its like, seriously, are you happy with a bloke calling you a slag because you chill with your male friends, or a female sticking with her bloke for the gifts and the free ride or because he's a 'sweetboy', thus sooo much easier to use.

We all know after that 'honeymoon' period, first few months.. things change, but surely there's a line, so why is the lack of respect tolerated by some? It pisses me off when girls are like 'Yeah, he said I was a slag, but he's right, I ought to cover up more because he's my man and he's saying it because he loves me' How's that love. Where's the respect? If you present yourself with dignity and respect in a relationship you ough to damn well recieve it!

[Ritz_Crackers]

One word............STUPIDITY!

[queen bee]

Derrrrkhead.

[mindstate]

there can be many reasons..

maybe they are scared they won't find a partner who is as good or as useful as them...

good as in, in the bed...or useful as in..i can always depend on him/her..if i'm running short of cash, crack, coke, weed, dick/pussy, E, friends etc.

or..
people can be fucked up quite often...they like being talked down to...or being pushed around....its a sick fetish...in some sort of perverse way these actions happen to turn them on...

[queen bee]

Originally Posted by mindstate people can be fucked up quite often...they like being talked down to...or being pushed around....its a sick fetish...in some sort of perverse way these actions happen to turn them on...

ahah. I like that theory.

yes, the occasional throttle is quite a turn on.

[Guji-Ji]

Amen to you. I agree. One thing that annoys more then most is when emotional blackmail is used to make the girl(or could be guy) feel bad. And I'm just thinking 'What a dickhead. If he really loved you he wouldn't make you feel like shit'.

[BuzzB]

I think it's an element of naivety.

People can't normally see how messed up their relationship might be until it's over.

Or some people just agree, and accept whatever their partners saying to avoid drama and arguments and hope they'll just let it slide.

[DJ B4VVY]

I don't think I could ever stay with someone who cheated on me no matter how much I loved him.

[Ranj]

They lack self worth. After years of someone bringing you down and breaking your spirit, they start to develop the mindset that they aren't capable of surviving without them.

Sad but true.

[DJ B4VVY]

Originally Posted by Ranj They lack self worth. After years of someone bringing you down and breaking your spirit, they start to develop the mindset that they aren't capable of surviving without them. Sad but true.

Yep, I do actually know someone like that, they even tried leaving but went back to them because they just couldn't live without them.

[Rab C Nesbit]

It's a bit more simple...
People are in love with the idea of being in love.

They'll try turning anything they experience, with a person they're attracted to, to love!

So what if the girl stops him from seeing his mates who are girls?
She cuddles him, calls him at night when she's scared, and takes raunchy pictures for just his eyes.
He'll stick with that.

A boy who makes his girl cover up hed to toe and stay away from males all together, even though it was her scantilly clad body that got him hooked, will still be the apple in her eye.
He calls her Angel (or more likely, Jaanu!), he gets her teddies, he strokes her cheek whenever she gets upset...
She'll take that as love.

People just want "love" so bad, that they'll desperately see past the shit they're put through.

[Guji-Ji]

^I agree... and when things don't work out I think more often than not, it's all the dreams of getting married and pooping out kids that the person had that makes them cry for days on end, rather then losing the actual person if that makes any sense.

[Rab C Nesbit]

"Pooping out kids"...? Lmao.
Love it.

Hmm... that's interesting, maybe that's why I haven't cried?
...plus, I'm not losing him.
Just the Sex.

[queen bee]

Originally Posted by Rab C Nesbit It's a bit more simple... People are in love with the idea of being in love. They'll try turning anything they experience, with a person they're attracted to, to love! So what if the girl stops him from seeing his mates who are girls? She cuddles him, calls him at night when she's scared, and takes raunchy pictures for just his eyes. He'll stick with that. A boy who makes his girl cover up hed to toe and stay away from males all together, even though it was her scantilly clad body that got him hooked, will still be the apple in her eye. He calls her Angel (or more likely, Jaanu!), he gets her teddies, he strokes her cheek whenever she gets upset... She'll take that as love. People just want "love" so bad, that they'll desperately see past the shit they're put through.

Aye, that's exactly what it is. Well said.

[as_27]

first and foremost, its easier said than done.

i dont know if i totally agree with nesbitt's statement...its valid, but not applicable to myself.
i dont think im with my partner because i love the idea of being in love.

its the history we share, the time that we've given to one another, the commitments we made, mistakes have been made but some can be forgiven, as i have done in my experience.

but then again a person has to draw a line as to what they'll accept from another person.
domestic violence, cheating etc are all situations which shouldn't be accepted. male or female.

but it's not as simple as 'they love the idea of being in love' that makes that person stay.
sometimes its fear.
sometimes its for the children.
sometimes its family.
sometimes its self esteem issues.