forgetting someone - The Asian Place - Desi Forum

as_27 · 10-03-2009, 23:21

how? please does someone have a idea? im going mad.

im seriously insecure with this person now but cant let go.
i dont think i can fix it either.iv changed so much as a person.become so weak.
but i have to forget him somehow.its the only way i can get on with my life.otherwise im just gonna go into depression.
i keep trying to fix something thats already broken, and im just carving an even bigger hole in my heart.
everytime i try to let go,something happens or something stops me..i dont know how to get a grip or sort this out.
iv broken up/got back with him so many times its a joke.
things are good..then bad..then good..then bad.
my insecurity is driving me insane.
i need to somehow let go,in my mind.its not even about cutting contact.its my mindframe.the thinking process that has to change.
but i dont know how to do it.

Evil_Genious · 10-03-2009, 23:28

as_27 · 10-03-2009, 23:32

Evil_Genious u said in one of my previous threads...

"You're Self Destructive not Dramatic. Your pananoia will destroy all you have if you don't pull yourself together."

i think you were spot on.
now im trying to find a solution,and you think harming myself is the way.great.but no thanks.
im upset,very upset,but not that stupid.

Evil_Genious · 10-03-2009, 23:37

I'm just fucken around. I know I said that and that's exactly why I dint say it again...

What I will say is: If you don't love yourself, how can you love someone else?

That said, remove all this love shit. Get rid those BFs and I love him and I want him, can't stop thinking about him tripe. Go down to raw simples and take care of yourself. Do things that improve you, look increase your worth etc. When that's right, you'll automatically find a dude that you deserve... Guaranteed. Right now, your chasing butterflies.

Axii · 10-03-2009, 23:41

get in touch with your girlfriends, the single ones...go out...stay away for the weekend...forget bout things..

think of all the bad his done to you...jus keep thinkin of it..all the things dat put you up..keep that at at the forefront...

i understand its really hard..and dat this is a huge step...but a very doable one..loads of woman and men have done it...you have to be strong...

rise about it..its piss

Rab C Nesbit · 10-03-2009, 23:58

Why would you want to forget someone who's played a big part in shaping who you are?

I'd hate to have forgotten about the first guy I went out with.
He was an arse, but my God, did I learn shit!?
He made me realise that my life isn't all written out already like a screen play.
I'd never want to forget that.

However, in your case, I think it's a case of keeping busy.
Push him to the back of your mind.
Do other things.
Focus on yourself.
Right now if the best time to accept change, and go for changes.
Try something new. Swap things around. Zhuzz things up a bit.

as_27 · 11-03-2009, 16:35

there was such a simple explanation,but it doesnt change my mindframe during the time i didnt know what was going on.
last night for example, i became so insecure, needy,weak,upset..and i have to stop that irrespective of what goes on in a relationship.

how can i allow myself to become that just because i dont get what i want from someone? i make assumptions in my mind, drive myself insane, it hurts, i cry, feel weak,needy...etc.
my partner even knows i do this.he says 'its your own fault you get upset.you make assumptions and hurt yourself for no reason whatsoever most of the time'

why am i so negative?
is it really just because i need more to do with my time,or an underlying issue i should pinpoint?

as_27 · 11-03-2009, 16:38

Originally Posted by Rab C Nesbit

However, in your case, I think it's a case of keeping busy.
Push him to the back of your mind.
Do other things.
Focus on yourself.
Right now if the best time to accept change, and go for changes.
Try something new.

like what? i shop, see my friends, family, chill, i have a lot.but still my mind drives me insane sometimes.really insane.

BlackmaideN · 11-03-2009, 17:09

Originally Posted by as_27

like what? i shop, see my friends, family, chill, i have a lot.but still my mind drives me insane sometimes.really insane.

So keep doing that... it worked for me at least and I can relate to some of the things you're going through. Delete number/msn/facebook/pictures and anything that reminds you of him. Then just let time pass and the pain will lessen and you'll feel happy again without feeling like you "need him". The pain wont go away now or tomorrow but will fade over time (weeks, months) so keep yourself occupied with the other aspects of your life that need attention. Then the letting go process will happen automatically.

DJ B4VVY · 11-03-2009, 17:10

I can't really comment because I'm a bit like that myself, I read into stuff too much and always think the worst. I don't think there is a way to change it to be honest, I think it's just the way you're been brought up.

as_27 · 11-03-2009, 17:22

thanks blackmaiden.
dj_bavvy its horrible isnt it.im like this way because of my mum.as iv grown older,iv seen her do this with my father.constant paranoia,making assumtions, stirring,causing arguments..and i used to try her stop doing it.
now over th epast year or two,as iv been spending more time with her,through my won relationship iv seen that somehow iv managed to become that person myself.
its awful

DJ B4VVY · 11-03-2009, 17:30

Yea, my mum does it with me, she's always making assumptions and accusing me (not to my face but to my brother) of things like sneaking out of the house but I don't need to sneak out of the house because I do go out some nights and they know about it so I have no reason to sneak out :s and she always makes a big deal out of things or when me and my brother are joking about something, she takes it seriously because she doesn't understand the joke.

Guji-Ji · 11-03-2009, 19:07

Look at the world. Imagine how many couples break up everday and most them are like 'omg im gonna go crazy'... Do they all stay crazy?

You'll be fine.. =)

Rab C Nesbit · 11-03-2009, 19:16

Start something new.
Something you've always wanted to do..
Pottery classes? Salsa lessons? Rambling?
There's so much to do to take up your time.

Last night it hit me that I have to slowly wean myself off depending on the HunchBack.
Yea, I was a girl for a few minutes, and wept, but then I got up, went to my sister's keyboard, and taught myself how to play "Joyful Joyful".

Just keep busy.

mindstate · 11-03-2009, 20:09

Shaquillll yourself...

nah im only joking...

bye

10-03-2009, 23:21	#1 (permalink)
as_27 Newbie Location: london Age: 25 Gender: Female Country: Posts: 194 My Mood: Rep Power: 0 Rep Level:	forgetting someone how? please does someone have a idea? im going mad. im seriously insecure with this person now but cant let go. i dont think i can fix it either.iv changed so much as a person.become so weak. but i have to forget him somehow.its the only way i can get on with my life.otherwise im just gonna go into depression. i keep trying to fix something thats already broken, and im just carving an even bigger hole in my heart. everytime i try to let go,something happens or something stops me..i dont know how to get a grip or sort this out. iv broken up/got back with him so many times its a joke. things are good..then bad..then good..then bad. my insecurity is driving me insane. i need to somehow let go,in my mind.its not even about cutting contact.its my mindframe.the thinking process that has to change. but i dont know how to do it. Last edited by as_27; 10-03-2009 at 23:22. Reason: didnt make sense originally.still doesnt.but hey,i tried

10-03-2009, 23:28	#2 (permalink)
Evil_Genious Loyal Member Location: The Future Gender: Male Country: Posts: 3,312 My Mood: Rep Power: 505 Rep Level:	"You ain't have to do much to tempt me titts and over what the age of consent be that said you don't have to be that far over sometimes jailbait is worth goin jail over"

10-03-2009, 23:37	#4 (permalink)
Evil_Genious Loyal Member Location: The Future Gender: Male Country: Posts: 3,312 My Mood: Rep Power: 505 Rep Level:	I'm just fucken around. I know I said that and that's exactly why I dint say it again... What I will say is: If you don't love yourself, how can you love someone else? That said, remove all this love shit. Get rid those BFs and I love him and I want him, can't stop thinking about him tripe. Go down to raw simples and take care of yourself. Do things that improve you, look increase your worth etc. When that's right, you'll automatically find a dude that you deserve... Guaranteed. Right now, your chasing butterflies. "You ain't have to do much to tempt me titts and over what the age of consent be that said you don't have to be that far over sometimes jailbait is worth goin jail over"

10-03-2009, 23:41	#5 (permalink)
Axii Loyal Member Location: EAST London Baby!!! Age: 23 Gender: Female Country: Posts: 3,980 I have 3 Blog Entries Rep Power: 222 Rep Level:	get in touch with your girlfriends, the single ones...go out...stay away for the weekend...forget bout things.. think of all the bad his done to you...jus keep thinkin of it..all the things dat put you up..keep that at at the forefront... i understand its really hard..and dat this is a huge step...but a very doable one..loads of woman and men have done it...you have to be strong... rise about it..its piss Hey Miss Fatteh Fatteh why you err mhurrderrr?? lovuhdah way you twist and you tuuuurnerr.. LOVE YOU bABY XX TINY POPS 4 LYF Yo'!

10-03-2009, 23:58	#6 (permalink)
Rab C Nesbit Forum Addict! Location: Dystopia Age: 30 Gender: Female Country: Posts: 1,916 My Mood: Rep Power: 186 Rep Level:	Why would you want to forget someone who's played a big part in shaping who you are? I'd hate to have forgotten about the first guy I went out with. He was an arse, but my God, did I learn shit!? He made me realise that my life isn't all written out already like a screen play. I'd never want to forget that. However, in your case, I think it's a case of keeping busy. Push him to the back of your mind. Do other things. Focus on yourself. Right now if the best time to accept change, and go for changes. Try something new. Swap things around. Zhuzz things up a bit. I am Confidence and Insecurity. Evil Genious is My Budden Man.

10-03-2009, 23:32	#3 (permalink)
as_27 Newbie Location: london Age: 25 Gender: Female Country: Posts: 194 My Mood: Rep Power: 0 Rep Level:	Evil_Genious u said in one of my previous threads... "*You're Self Destructive not Dramatic. Your pananoia will destroy all you have if you don't pull yourself together."* i think you were spot on. now im trying to find a solution,and you think harming myself is the way.great.but no thanks. im upset,very upset,but not that stupid.

11-03-2009, 16:35	#7 (permalink)
as_27 Newbie Location: london Age: 25 Gender: Female Country: Posts: 194 My Mood: Rep Power: 0 Rep Level:	there was such a simple explanation,but it doesnt change my mindframe during the time i didnt know what was going on. last night for example, i became so insecure, needy,weak,upset..and i have to stop that irrespective of what goes on in a relationship. how can i allow myself to become that just because i dont get what i want from someone? i make assumptions in my mind, drive myself insane, it hurts, i cry, feel weak,needy...etc. my partner even knows i do this.he says 'its your own fault you get upset.you make assumptions and hurt yourself for no reason whatsoever most of the time' why am i so negative? is it really just because i need more to do with my time,or an underlying issue i should pinpoint? Last edited by as_27; 11-03-2009 at 16:37. Reason: missed a word

11-03-2009, 17:10	#10 (permalink)
DJ B4VVY AP's Devil Location: PUDSEYYYYY Age: 25 Gender: Female Country: Posts: 15,973 My Mood: Rep Power: 587 Rep Level:	I can't really comment because I'm a bit like that myself, I read into stuff too much and always think the worst. I don't think there is a way to change it to be honest, I think it's just the way you're been brought up. DJ B4VVY http://www.youtube.com/B4VVY Please support me!: http://www.facebook.com/pages/DJ-B4VVY/22371339840

11-03-2009, 17:22	#11 (permalink)
as_27 Newbie Location: london Age: 25 Gender: Female Country: Posts: 194 My Mood: Rep Power: 0 Rep Level:	thanks blackmaiden. dj_bavvy its horrible isnt it.im like this way because of my mum.as iv grown older,iv seen her do this with my father.constant paranoia,making assumtions, stirring,causing arguments..and i used to try her stop doing it. now over th epast year or two,as iv been spending more time with her,through my won relationship iv seen that somehow iv managed to become that person myself. its awful

11-03-2009, 17:30	#12 (permalink)
DJ B4VVY AP's Devil Location: PUDSEYYYYY Age: 25 Gender: Female Country: Posts: 15,973 My Mood: Rep Power: 587 Rep Level:	Yea, my mum does it with me, she's always making assumptions and accusing me (not to my face but to my brother) of things like sneaking out of the house but I don't need to sneak out of the house because I do go out some nights and they know about it so I have no reason to sneak out :s and she always makes a big deal out of things or when me and my brother are joking about something, she takes it seriously because she doesn't understand the joke. DJ B4VVY http://www.youtube.com/B4VVY Please support me!: http://www.facebook.com/pages/DJ-B4VVY/22371339840

11-03-2009, 19:07	#13 (permalink)
Guji-Ji Respected Member Location: London Age: 20 Gender: Male Country: Posts: 13,381 I have 6 Blog Entries Rep Power: 503 Rep Level:	Look at the world. Imagine how many couples break up everday and most them are like 'omg im gonna go crazy'... Do they all stay crazy? You'll be fine.. =) ^^Thanks to the Evil_G^^

11-03-2009, 19:16	#14 (permalink)
Rab C Nesbit Forum Addict! Location: Dystopia Age: 30 Gender: Female Country: Posts: 1,916 My Mood: Rep Power: 186 Rep Level:	Start something new. Something you've always wanted to do.. Pottery classes? Salsa lessons? Rambling? There's so much to do to take up your time. Last night it hit me that I have to slowly wean myself off depending on the HunchBack. Yea, I was a girl for a few minutes, and wept, but then I got up, went to my sister's keyboard, and taught myself how to play "Joyful Joyful". Just keep busy. I am Confidence and Insecurity. Evil Genious is My Budden Man.

11-03-2009, 20:09	#15 (permalink)
mindstate Loyal Member Location: uk Gender: Male Country: Posts: 3,659 Rep Power: 272 Rep Level:	Shaquillll yourself... nah im only joking... bye

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