Checking someone's background

[as_27]

the guy..i like him! he likes me.
i need to find out more.

i know a few people that were on his course,a girl i used to work with/we're not that close,and have kind of lost touch although we have one another's number!
im not sure if i can trust her.

but wanted to check up on the guy.

should i just be frank and say 'so and so is interested in me,whats he like?'

or shall i just say 'my friend is interested in so-and-so..whats he like?'

a lot of people know me! im worried word will get out,or what if it gets back to him?

i want to find out more about him!...what he was like as a student,living away for so many years, etc etc ?

[diva2620]

Why dont you ask him?!
Those are the kind of things you ask someone when your getting to know someone.Just get talking.

[shelim]

was going to say the same thing as diva, why dont you ask him... And if he is strsight with you dont go all apeshit on him because its his past...

Your getting to know him so chill and just do the talking for now....

I sense a few more threads coming soon already lol

[morphine]

creepy ......

[diva2620]

It is a bit strange that you want to do like a background check..Just chill out take the first few steps to get to know him .

[Spider Pig]

damn sounds like you don't trust him already and doing a background check? some employees don't even do that lol

[as_27]

lol,with my past relationship you can understand why im feeling this way.

iv met him through family, his family are lovely, seems like a nice guy..but you never know right! and its for marriage..so im all the more scared he's gonna turn out to be a rotten snake after all that malarky with my ex (which i officially ended by the way!!)

[diva2620]

I still think its real OTT. Just TALK to him?!

[D351-GUND4M]

haha...ohhh shit.............all i can say is snooping like that is not good..but depends if the person seem decent...


i remeber a time... (a dream perhaps)

there was this guy there was this girl, he got to know her an she got to know him it was as friends, but later he started liking her and she started liking him...
however there was a friend of hers, who warnd her of the guy, said he was shady an cannot be trusted...in the process a jelous witch woman has told a story an showed a story....

a story the guy already told...and he had more to tell...

in the end...the girl had trouble trusting the guy, and the guy worked so hard no matter how hard he worked just to let her know he wasnt hiding nuttin cuz in all times...he really cared for her...an the process of it was to prove and get her to trust him...he works so hard everyday days, weeks, months...but she didnt trust him..he felt sad and upset cuz he never could give up....she couldnt trust him and he trusted her even if she told a dumb lie that was defo not to ryem....

then one day she said i finally trust you...it made him smile....

the end....





what im trying to say is....
show us a picture of the guy....

but most importantly....be honest wid him an tell him to be honest wid u..if he jus lookin for fun time..then say fuk you....

[BuzzB]

I see what your coming from in a sense. Your curious, which is fair enough if your considering marrying the guy.
But i'd suggest ask more family friends, as in get your parents to ask if their friends etc no their family and what they're like etc. I wouldn't suggest asking people you don't trust, because their judgement isn't really worth much then really but could put so much doubt in your mind.

Also, do istikaara (Im assuming your Muslim - sorry if I assumed wrong!) and get the guy to, too and see what happens. Inshallah everything will work out for the best!

[Rab C Nesbit]

Is this Boy number 42 since The Guy You Broke Up With?

[as_27]

BuzzB istikhara has been done,a few people, mum, nani, family friend, khala have done it..they've all come out amazingly well.
BUT im just a bit worried perhaps,and overly cautious too.

rab this is boy no.1 after him.

he seems like a really nice guy. he's friendly, and watching his sister's weding film, i think i like him.
i dont know if there's any cemistry or whatnot.
mum wants us to get to know each other better, and i know he likes me..we're meeting this week.hopefully he'll ask for my number, so we can get to know one another better.

but he's been living away for 6 years now...i hope he's just honest,about his past etc.with my ex, i dragged it out of him,slowly,slowly, i got it out..he had SOO many skeletons in the closet. kids, ex's, girls, drinking, smoking, family..it was god-awful.

i've had enough of the lies from the ex im scared of it happening again. but im trying to be positive, and tell myself its not the same person.this is someone new, hould give him the benefit of the dout.
but its hard you'know.

if i ask my friend, it wouldnt be good if she started telling others i know..its a small world.word could get out,which wouldnt be good since we dont want anyone to know anything yet.

[Voodookid]

If you are marrying this guy then yes his past is something you should know about, but not to such an extent where you know every last detail about him, Major things like if he has any kids would be something he should tell you on his own, without you asking him, Things like past girl friends I wouldn't see it as important, If you are marrying him then look forward to the future rather than letting his or your past put an anchor on your relationship..

Thanks my personal opinion. If my GF is to ask about my past, of that which she doesn't already know about, then il happily tell her, Majority of the major stuff comes out in conversation.

[BuzzB]

I didn't know this before a few months ago.
But I was doing some reading, and Islamically, your not meant to admit to any sins you've done for example been with girls/guys previously, especially in rishta situations. However you should try and repent for all your sins before hand, and inshallah move on, as you can't change the past now etc.

It's good they've done Istikaara, have you done it yourself too?

It's good to be cautious, just don't let it make you paranoid! x

[D351-GUND4M]

hell yeh....go for it......
when my daughter or son gets marraid...b4 that happens i might do a gundam investigation

ya get me blaad....