Keeping Options Open

[DJ B4VVY]

For some reason, I can't do it, in my mind it's kind of like cheating. People tell me it's not and it's fine to see more than one guy but I just can't seem to do it.

Well you probably know about the guy I've been on a few dates with, we're not going out but just seeing each other and we've kissed and what not but my mum keeps going on about some guy she wants to hook me up with and I can't keep putting it off for any longer. I don't want to tell her about the first guy either because nothing might happen with him and if I tell my family about him, they will have expectations of us getting married etc.

Anyways, what do you guys think? Is it ok to see more than one guy at a time?

[jellytots.]

Methinks it is okay, darling.
Provided you're not committed to the one and only.
And as far as I see... you like 'The Guy', but nothings set in stone, right?
Don't hold out unless you're absolutely sure something will fully materialise out of it.
Otherwise, keep them open.

[DJ B4VVY]

Originally Posted by jellytots. Methinks it is okay, darling. Provided you're not committed to the one and only. And as far as I see... you like 'The Guy', but nothings set in stone, right? Don't hold out unless you're absolutely sure something will fully materialise out of it. Otherwise, keep them open.

Nah I'm not committed to him, we go out for drinks now and then but I do like him but who knows, the guy my mum wants to hook me up with may even say no!

[jellytots.]

Originally Posted by DJ B4VVY Nah I'm not committed to him, we go out for drinks now and then but I do like him but who knows, the guy my mum wants to hook me up with may even say no!

Exactly, nothing may come out of this guy your mom wants you to hook up with.
Placate her and then... you know, just go with the flow for a while and see where it takes you.

[DJ B4VVY]

Originally Posted by jellytots. Exactly, nothing may come out of this guy your mom wants you to hook up with. Placate her and then... you know, just go with the flow for a while and see where it takes you.

The only thing is, I've spoken to him before and he's a decent guy but he's not very talkative lol which ain't good because I'm quite a shy person myself but I don't wanna tell my mum I've spoken to him before :s

[jellytots.]

Aha. Is it like a struggle for conversation?
Desperate attempts to make conversation about the weather....

[Cheeky_Princess]

No its not cheating bav

at the end of the day you not commuted to guy 1.. so it really would not matter if your seeing both at the same time..

At the end of the day that just dateing and a lot of people do it!

[queen bee]

Three years ago, when I wasn't in a commited rel. I'd literally keep my options open with EVERY GUY that was interested.... play it like Poker. It's fun. It's not cheating, it's something to fall back on. Right?

[Ranj]

Bav I do the same thing.
I meet someone and if I start to like him , I focus on him and I will ignore everyone else's advances.

I don't know why but I do it. Maybe because I feel like I'm being loyal or respectful to that person, like I couldn't date mulitiple guys at one time. Like I wouldn't want him to do that to me, so I wouldn't to him, its naive.

Sometimes you realise people aren't like you, they won't behaviour like you, and if there's no chance, maybe its best to keep your options open so you don't miss out on someone who really does want you.

I think if you found out if this guy you kissed was seeing others, your opinion probably would change.

[DJ B4VVY]

Originally Posted by jellytots. Aha. Is it like a struggle for conversation? Desperate attempts to make conversation about the weather....

Yea, it was like I was doing all the asking and then I ran out of things to say because I'm not much of a talker myself lol

[DJ B4VVY]

Originally Posted by Ranj Bav I do the same thing. I meet someone and if I start to like him , I focus on him and I will ignore everyone else's advances. I don't know why but I do it. Maybe because I feel like I'm being loyal or respectful to that person, like I couldn't date mulitiple guys at one time. Like I wouldn't want him to do that to me, so I wouldn't to him, its naive. Sometimes you realise people aren't like you, they won't behaviour like you, and if there's no chance, maybe its best to keep your options open so you don't miss out on someone who really does want you. I think if you found out if this guy you kissed was seeing others, your opinion probably would change.

He is seeing other girls so I guess then it wouldn't matter if I saw other guys, not like i have any other offers but if I meet the one my mum wants me to hook up with, it's gonna be like she would expect me to marry him and I'll get alot of pressure put onto me which is why I thought I would talk to him myself before parents get involved. There is this other guy I like though but he's got a bit of a temper problem

[shelim]

whydont you ask your mum if its okay to speak and ge to know the guy she wants you to hook up with instead of getting married straight away or geting into marriage talks as you may not like weach other because of the dead convo's

[DJ B4VVY]

Originally Posted by shelim whydont you ask your mum if its okay to speak and ge to know the guy she wants you to hook up with instead of getting married straight away or geting into marriage talks as you may not like weach other because of the dead convo's

Lol that is what happens anyway but she doesn't know that I've already spoken to him before but then again it was on Facebook and he does say hello to me when we see each other at cricket and weddings and stuff but never has a full on conversation with me or anything.

[shelim]

if you cant make conversation now how is it going to be any different after mariage?

is he the shy type or does he approach you or approach anyone at that?

[DJ B4VVY]

Originally Posted by shelim if you cant make conversation now how is it going to be any different after mariage? is he the shy type or does he approach you or approach anyone at that?

He's probably a bit like me or even shyer than me, I don't usually speak unless I'm being spoken to but once I get to know someone I'm ok but he does atleast say hi when he sees me at a wedding or cricket or wherever.