Question for Everyone - The Asian Place - Desi Forum

DJ B4VVY · 13-04-2009, 22:10

Say you meet someone you really like, you love their personality but you don't like some of the things they do, would you stay with them hoping for them to change or would you just leave them?

StyLeZ · 13-04-2009, 22:20

interesting questionn..hmmm well first things first...how long you known this guy?? you wont get to know how he really is unless you know him a few months or so...and if your hoping he will change ill doubt that..you might need to talk to him..

first impressions are diff from when you get to know someone..so if you known him long enough and you say u two are together..you gonna have to talk to him..he might not even know he annoys you when he does those things....

did i even make sense

Evil_Genious · 13-04-2009, 22:24

"Like old folks pissin, I guess it all Depends"

Kanye West

Sunshine · 13-04-2009, 22:25

Depends on what the things are...

DJ B4VVY · 13-04-2009, 22:40

It's not about me (this time) lol. The things are: smoking, losing weight and doing something useful with his life.

D351-GUND4M · 13-04-2009, 22:44

lol u know for some reason i was thinking smoking...

its hard to change people...

one of the tuffness in life....

Guji-Ji · 13-04-2009, 23:25

If the things in particular are going to cause considerable strain in the relationship to a point where it may lead to one leaving the other then you see if they can change within a specific time frame and if they cant and you know they never will be able to then eff them. Cause it won't last eventually anyway (note the first sentence).

Don't fool yourself.

DJ B4VVY · 13-04-2009, 23:39

But you can't expect people to change overnight, if someone says they will change then they most likely will but it will take some time. I don't think it's good enough reason to split up with someone over it. If you already knew they did those things and you didn't like them, maybe you shouldn't have married them in the first place. Don't get me wrong, if that was me and someone had promised me they would change and it had been like 6 months then maybe I would consider splitting up with them but not after one week. These things take time and patience especially quitting smoking and losing weight!

Iroquois Pliskin · 13-04-2009, 23:42

Its hard to find someone ideal who doesn't smoke, is fit, etc etc.. so hope i guess.

Ranj · 13-04-2009, 23:42

It depends what your intentions are with him, if your not looking for anything serious then enjoy whatever you have. However, if you are then I would probably give him a miss.

You can't change him, your kidding yourself if you think you can.

DJ B4VVY · 13-04-2009, 23:45

It's not about me! And I smoke myself so it can't be about me lol.

Guji-Ji · 13-04-2009, 23:45

Originally Posted by DJ B4VVY

But you can't expect people to change overnight, if someone says they will change then they most likely will but it will take some time. I don't think it's good enough reason to split up with someone over it. If you already knew they did those things and you didn't like them, maybe you shouldn't have married them in the first place. Don't get me wrong, if that was me and someone had promised me they would change and it had been like 6 months then maybe I would consider splitting up with them but not after one week. These things take time and patience especially quitting smoking and losing weight!

That's why I said 'specific time frame'.

And I agree.. You shouldn't even think about marriage if you can't hack the others tendencies.

Rab C Nesbit · 14-04-2009, 10:10

You don't get with someone so that you can change them.

DJ B4VVY · 14-04-2009, 10:33

That's what I was thinking too. If you already know you don't like what someone does, why marry them in the first place?!

queen bee · 14-04-2009, 13:40

Why be with someone that you want to change.

Its like, 'I would like a revised edition of you'. Your just not going to get it.

Unless the change is from within them and they personally feel they would like to, without you instigating anything. I wouldn't change for someone if they had pointed out that they would like specific things about me changed, ..on your bike mate.

I didn't like the things my guy indulged in when I'd first met him, I didn't let that bother me or influence my decisions on where things were going to go, it's him. It defines his character, you can't strip a tree of its bark and expect it to flourish the same. Thats 'history' to him now, since our relationship did the speaking (not me!) and he made a conscious effort to fix certain aspects of his life to allow happiness to follow through......... (ah that last line was so cheesey.)

13-04-2009, 22:10	#1 (permalink)
DJ B4VVY AP's Devil Location: PUDSEYYYYY Age: 25 Gender: Female Country: Posts: 15,973 My Mood: Rep Power: 587 Rep Level:	Question for Everyone Say you meet someone you really like, you love their personality but you don't like some of the things they do, would you stay with them hoping for them to change or would you just leave them? DJ B4VVY http://www.youtube.com/B4VVY Please support me!: http://www.facebook.com/pages/DJ-B4VVY/22371339840

13-04-2009, 22:24	#3 (permalink)
Evil_Genious Loyal Member Location: The Future Gender: Male Country: Posts: 3,312 My Mood: Rep Power: 505 Rep Level:	"Like old folks pissin, I guess it all Depends" Kanye West "You ain't have to do much to tempt me titts and over what the age of consent be that said you don't have to be that far over sometimes jailbait is worth goin jail over"

13-04-2009, 22:25	#4 (permalink)
Sunshine Advanced Member Location: London Age: 25 Gender: Female Country: Posts: 914 My Mood: Rep Power: 85 Rep Level:	Depends on what the things are... "This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time..."

13-04-2009, 22:40	#5 (permalink)
DJ B4VVY AP's Devil Location: PUDSEYYYYY Age: 25 Gender: Female Country: Posts: 15,973 My Mood: Rep Power: 587 Rep Level:	It's not about me (this time) lol. The things are: smoking, losing weight and doing something useful with his life. DJ B4VVY http://www.youtube.com/B4VVY Please support me!: http://www.facebook.com/pages/DJ-B4VVY/22371339840

13-04-2009, 22:44	#6 (permalink)
D351-GUND4M Loyal Member Location: ガンダム Throne London ''HYPE DA FUNK'' Age: 24 Gender: Male Country: Posts: 3,720 My Mood: I have 4 Blog Entries Rep Power: 154 Rep Level:	lol u know for some reason i was thinking smoking... its hard to change people... one of the tuffness in life.... Gundam ''Last Showdown'' Some People are Sweet an Yet so Bitter...So Best Thing To Do is Sour Them...That Way There Rotten

13-04-2009, 22:20	#2 (permalink)
StyLeZ Forum Addict! Location: in the streetz Gender: Male Country: Posts: 1,751 My Mood: Rep Power: 107 Rep Level:	interesting questionn..hmmm well first things first...how long you known this guy?? you wont get to know how he really is unless you know him a few months or so...and if your hoping he will change ill doubt that..you might need to talk to him.. first impressions are diff from when you get to know someone..so if you known him long enough and you say u two are together..you gonna have to talk to him..he might not even know he annoys you when he does those things.... did i even make sense

13-04-2009, 23:25	#7 (permalink)
Guji-Ji Respected Member Location: London Age: 20 Gender: Male Country: Posts: 13,381 I have 6 Blog Entries Rep Power: 503 Rep Level:	If the things in particular are going to cause considerable strain in the relationship to a point where it may lead to one leaving the other then you see if they can change within a specific time frame and if they cant and you know they never will be able to then eff them. Cause it won't last eventually anyway (note the first sentence). Don't fool yourself. ^^Thanks to the Evil_G^^

13-04-2009, 23:39	#8 (permalink)
DJ B4VVY AP's Devil Location: PUDSEYYYYY Age: 25 Gender: Female Country: Posts: 15,973 My Mood: Rep Power: 587 Rep Level:	But you can't expect people to change overnight, if someone says they will change then they most likely will but it will take some time. I don't think it's good enough reason to split up with someone over it. If you already knew they did those things and you didn't like them, maybe you shouldn't have married them in the first place. Don't get me wrong, if that was me and someone had promised me they would change and it had been like 6 months then maybe I would consider splitting up with them but not after one week. These things take time and patience especially quitting smoking and losing weight! DJ B4VVY http://www.youtube.com/B4VVY Please support me!: http://www.facebook.com/pages/DJ-B4VVY/22371339840

13-04-2009, 23:42	#9 (permalink)
Iroquois Pliskin Respected Member Tournaments Won: 6 Location: UK Glasgow Gender: Male Country: Posts: 12,192 My Mood: Rep Power: 439 Rep Level:	Its hard to find someone ideal who doesn't smoke, is fit, etc etc.. so hope i guess. - Looks like someone has got smoke grenades for Xmas -

13-04-2009, 23:42	#10 (permalink)
Ranj Loyal Member Location: ' Gender: Female Posts: 2,412 Rep Power: 91 Rep Level:	It depends what your intentions are with him, if your not looking for anything serious then enjoy whatever you have. However, if you are then I would probably give him a miss. You can't change him, your kidding yourself if you think you can. Peace, Love and Glee...

13-04-2009, 23:45	#11 (permalink)
DJ B4VVY AP's Devil Location: PUDSEYYYYY Age: 25 Gender: Female Country: Posts: 15,973 My Mood: Rep Power: 587 Rep Level:	It's not about me! And I smoke myself so it can't be about me lol. DJ B4VVY http://www.youtube.com/B4VVY Please support me!: http://www.facebook.com/pages/DJ-B4VVY/22371339840

14-04-2009, 10:10	#13 (permalink)
Rab C Nesbit Forum Addict! Location: Dystopia Age: 30 Gender: Female Country: Posts: 1,916 My Mood: Rep Power: 186 Rep Level:	You don't get with someone so that you can change them. I am Confidence and Insecurity. Evil Genious is My Budden Man.

14-04-2009, 10:33	#14 (permalink)
DJ B4VVY AP's Devil Location: PUDSEYYYYY Age: 25 Gender: Female Country: Posts: 15,973 My Mood: Rep Power: 587 Rep Level:	That's what I was thinking too. If you already know you don't like what someone does, why marry them in the first place?! DJ B4VVY http://www.youtube.com/B4VVY Please support me!: http://www.facebook.com/pages/DJ-B4VVY/22371339840

14-04-2009, 13:40	#15 (permalink)
queen bee Loyal Member Location: Where the hoodrats at? Gender: Female Country: Posts: 2,198 My Mood: Rep Power: 238 Rep Level:	Why be with someone that you want to change. Its like, 'I would like a revised edition of you'. Your just not going to get it. Unless the change is from within them and they personally feel they would like to, without you instigating anything. I wouldn't change for someone if they had pointed out that they would like specific things about me changed, ..on your bike mate. I didn't like the things my guy indulged in when I'd first met him, I didn't let that bother me or influence my decisions on where things were going to go, it's him. It defines his character, you can't strip a tree of its bark and expect it to flourish the same. Thats 'history' to him now, since our relationship did the speaking (not me!) and he made a conscious effort to fix certain aspects of his life to allow happiness to follow through......... (ah that last line was so cheesey.)

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