View Full Version : Why Do Asian Girls Get Treated Differently?
DJ B4VVY
13-08-2006, 23:23
Ok well the guys can get away with murder, and we are just expected to just sit at home and do all the housework, guys NEVER get forced to do anything like that, they all think it's "the girls" job to do all that kind of stuff, and also my parents hardly ever let me out even if it's during the day or evening yet they let my bruv go out and he comes back at like 5 in the morning sometimes! It's just so unfair http://desiway.com/forum/images/smilies/frown.gif
The way I see it is I can look after myself, and my bruv knows it but whenever I ahve arguements with my parents he ALWAYS takes their side even though I ALWAYS stick up for him when he has arguements with them, I know if I wanted to, I could run my parents but I don't - out of respect and also coz my bruv butts in and takes their side, and he has an answer for EVERYTHING.
Does anyone else get treated like this? I've noticed quite a few Asian girls get the same kind of treatment, but not anymore, even my cousins get more freedom than me and they always used to say stuff to me about having it easy, well it looks to me as thought they're having it easy now!
MizzyBone
13-08-2006, 23:24
Your parents.....
DJ B4VVY
13-08-2006, 23:28
Miz, did you even read what I just wrote?
*AmBiGuOuS*
13-08-2006, 23:29
Well yeh its common...but i'm an opinionated girl so wen i dont like sumfin i let it b known...so if parents r bein unfair i like 2 discuss it...:)
MizzyBone
13-08-2006, 23:30
Miz, did you even read what I just wrote?
yes but it seems from ur situation if its the same with others, then its the parents which are the problem.
DJ B4VVY
13-08-2006, 23:31
Yea, it's the parents, but why do they do it?
bananasuit
13-08-2006, 23:32
its the same with every race...
trust me ..
heres a good example...
a man shoplifts from a shop... he gets prosicuted... and get 20 hours community service..
a woman shoplifts from the same shop.. she takes the same item and she get a year in prison ....
discrimination is everywhere darling .. .. lets face it!
PunjabiMunda
13-08-2006, 23:33
Hey theres a reason why they dont let you roam around until 5 in the morning, your their daughter and if anything happens then is it really worth it? Especially with all these sick perverts about, taxi drivers and kosovans, Iraqis and Turks.
Atleast they let you out...some familys especially muslim families would not allow this to send their daughters to clubs or places where males and females mix freely.
But keeping a girl 'locked up' is a sure way of making her rebel and cause family shame...so you got to trust them and let them do whatever (within reason) . Anyone who has sisters would tell you they can be hard work...but some people dont have dad around like myself have to take on extra responsibilty as man of the house.
MizzyBone
13-08-2006, 23:34
its the same with every race...
trust me ..
heres a good example...
a man shoplifts from a shop... he gets prosicuted... and get 20 hours community service..
a woman shoplifts from the same shop.. she takes the same item and she get a year in prison ....
discrimination is everywhere darling .. .. lets face it!
Man sleeps with 13yr old girl..he is a sex fiend, phaedophile
Woman teacher sleeps with boy, loses job and a few months prison, she is a sex 'mistress'
bananasuit
13-08-2006, 23:35
Man sleeps with 13yr old girl..he is a sex fiend, phaedophile
Woman teacher sleeps with boy, loses job and a few months prison, she is a sex 'mistress'
if the boy was 13 years old also.. she would go on the sex offenders register... and go to prison :) ...
MizzyBone
13-08-2006, 23:37
if the boy was 13 years old also.. she would go on the sex offenders register... and go to prison :) ...
yes but peoples perception, he is a fiend (rightfully so) but she isn't given as much trouble or thats how it seems, this was even the majority view in a recent paper poll (Metro):)
DJ B4VVY
13-08-2006, 23:38
Hey theres a reason why they dont let you roam around until 5 in the morning, your their daughter and if anything happens then is it really worth it? Especially with all these sick perverts about, taxi drivers and kosovans, Iraqis and Turks.
Atleast they let you out...some familys especially muslim families would not allow this to send their daughters to clubs or places where males and females mix freely.
But keeping a girl 'locked up' is a sure way of making her rebel and cause family shame...so you got to trust them and let them do whatever (within reason) . Anyone who has sisters would tell you they can be hard work...but some people dont have dad around like myself have to take on extra responsibilty as man of the house.
That's exactly what I did lol and still am!
Oh and I can look after myself, I ain't scared of people in the streets, but I'm not stupid enough to walk around Bradford at times like that in the night by myself. I did in Leicester but i would never do it in Bradford!
Lol @ hard work, you wanna have a chat to my bruv about how much trouble I caused while I was living with him?! But when I look back on that part of my life, it was my stupidity, my head was not right, it still isn't but I've learnt from my mistakes not to do things like that again.
bananasuit
13-08-2006, 23:39
reliable source the metro ;) ... love reading that :) ... in general women do get a harsher punishment than men... even if ppls perception is different ..
DJ B4VVY
13-08-2006, 23:42
reliable source the metro ;) ... love reading that :) ... in general women do get a harsher punishment than men... even if ppls perception is different ..
Well actually me and my bruv got the same punishment for the affray charge we got.
PunjabiMunda
13-08-2006, 23:44
That's exactly what I did lol and still am!
Oh and I can look after myself, I ain't scared of people in the streets, but I'm not stupid enough to walk around Bradford at times like that in the night by myself. I did in Leicester but i would never do it in Bradford!
Lol @ hard work, you wanna have a chat to my bruv about how much trouble I caused while I was living with him?! But when I look back on that part of my life, it was my stupidity, my head was not right, it still isn't but I've learnt from my mistakes not to do things like that again.
Thats what makes us human, dont worry about it dear....its all apart of growing up.... you will never stop learning until the day you die. Im glad my sisters aint 18-21 anymore :) It was a nightmare!
DJ B4VVY
13-08-2006, 23:46
Thats what makes us human, dont worry about it dear....its all apart of growing up.... you will never stop learning until the day you die. Im glad my sisters aint 18-21 anymore :) It was a nightmare!
Lol yea I moved there when I was 18, I know I made it hard for him, but it wasn't intentionally, it was coz my head was screwed up, well I'm back with the olds now and he's also come back and I'm going to be 22 this year, let's hope I get wiser!
MizzyBone
14-08-2006, 00:07
reliable source the metro ;) ... love reading that :) ... in general women do get a harsher punishment than men... even if ppls perception is different ..
sure like when the man works hard all his life to support the family etc and if the relationship dont work out she gets kids, house, money and now ridiculously his income:) (atho i agree with the Ray Parlour case)
I think discrimination exists both ways:)
Destinys_angel
17-08-2006, 22:12
Asian guys get away with anything, and girls have to suffer.
i see this in all my familys.
girls need to use their Girl power and fight back, haha.
Least my brothers are lovely tho, so allow it...
MizzyBone
17-08-2006, 22:14
Asian guys get away with anything, and girls have to suffer.
i see this in all my familys.
girls need to use their Girl power and fight back, haha.
Least my brothers are lovely tho, so allow it...
YOUR families, so don't generalise the rest of us:)
sweet sanju
17-08-2006, 22:18
Ok well the guys can get away with murder, and we are just expected to just sit at home and do all the housework, guys NEVER get forced to do anything like that, they all think it's "the girls" job to do all that kind of stuff, and also my parents hardly ever let me out even if it's during the day or evening yet they let my bruv go out and he comes back at like 5 in the morning sometimes! It's just so unfair http://desiway.com/forum/images/smilies/frown.gif
The way I see it is I can look after myself, and my bruv knows it but whenever I ahve arguements with my parents he ALWAYS takes their side even though I ALWAYS stick up for him when he has arguements with them, I know if I wanted to, I could run my parents but I don't - out of respect and also coz my bruv butts in and takes their side, and he has an answer for EVERYTHING.
Does anyone else get treated like this? I've noticed quite a few Asian girls get the same kind of treatment, but not anymore, even my cousins get more freedom than me and they always used to say stuff to me about having it easy, well it looks to me as thought they're having it easy now!
hey well im the exact same but i dont have bro's or sisters so i dnt get it from their but i got cousins and the way they are treated andit's like excuse me y cant i go out as well... but now i just started working a whole lot more and mum's kool with me work which is good cos at least i get outa da house instead of having to do house wrok and stuff but boys never get grieve if they dont do something but girls always do grr
Sidra240
17-08-2006, 22:25
Guys do get away with lots of things Lolz....
but parents tend to look out for there daughter more and dat.....i think if the gals are goin out sumwhere and tell there parenrts and stuff then parents or brothers etc shud be kool with it....coz they can contact u anytime and know where u are as well....
but iv seen with alot of galz....that there parents dont let em go out and about....so they tend to lie to there parents almost about everytin and anything....it shudnt have to be lyk dat.....coz parents shud give a bit of freedom at least to socialise with friends and stuff......
but all dependz on ur family and ur parents and the way the think.....and if they trust u or not.....
sweet sanju
17-08-2006, 22:27
^^^^^^
very true and also if you can trust your parents would you tell them if u were dating someone?
DJ B4VVY
17-08-2006, 22:28
Yea, I lie to my parents alot, even if I'm just going somewhere with even a girl mate
sweet sanju
17-08-2006, 22:31
Yea, I lie to my parents alot, even if I'm just going somewhere with even a girl mate
heheh same and i have to get my mates to lie for me as well sometimes otherwise parents don t belive it
Destinys_angel
17-08-2006, 22:31
YOUR families, so don't generalise the rest of us:)..
lol, calm down, calm down !
sorry for generalisin, im only new <:
MizzyBone
17-08-2006, 22:33
..
lol, calm down, calm down !
sorry for generalisin, im only new <:
lol my apologies, was just saying because we had a bit of a ruffle over generalising on the forum past couple of days?>
Sidra240
17-08-2006, 22:42
^^^^^^
very true and also if you can trust your parents would you tell them if u were dating someone?
Lolz dont know coz i wudnt know lolz......
Sidra240
17-08-2006, 22:43
heheh same and i have to get my mates to lie for me as well sometimes otherwise parents don t belive it
tehehe happnz with me at tymz too Lolz.....
god parents neva beleve u even if u tel da biggest truth lol
Destinys_angel
17-08-2006, 22:45
my parents would be ok with me dating as long as they get to know the guy..
id rather tel them than hide things.
I think the main reason why guys and girls in general are treated different is that girls can get pergnant and guys cant. Parents have a natural tendecy to me slightly more cautious with their daughters.
><
I think the main reason why guys and girls in general are treated different is that girls can get pergnant and guys cant. Parents have a natural tendecy to me slightly more cautious with their daughters.
><
BRAVO!:)!!!!!!!
Forgived.
17-08-2006, 22:53
I think the main reason why guys and girls in general are treated different is that girls can get pergnant and guys cant. Parents have a natural tendecy to me slightly more cautious with their daughters.
><
Yeah, thats true...plus a families 'izzat' is mostly associated with the girls rather than the boys. So they are more 'protected' and all cautious over :)
But it still dont mean that boys should fock around:)
*AmBiGuOuS*
17-08-2006, 22:56
I think the main reason why guys and girls in general are treated different is that girls can get pergnant and guys cant. Parents have a natural tendecy to me slightly more cautious with their daughters.
><
But then surely that implies that the parents have little if any trust for their daughters? They care too much for their name and what people will think. Am sure there's many girls in this world that know how to keep their legs closed and if they DO decide to open them then they would be wise enough to use protection.:)
Marni wots so 'bravo' bout that? U saying u agree? Or that its a good reason? If so i seriously feel for your daughters...:)
Read the post above yours...not fully:)
*AmBiGuOuS*
17-08-2006, 22:57
Yeah, thats true...plus a families 'izzat' is mostly associated with the girls rather than the boys. So they are more 'protected' and all cautious over :)
Yeh girls r more 'precious' wen it cumz 2 izzat but i still fink that the 'girls can get pregnant' theory is bullshit n shows those kinda parents lack trust...
Forgived.
17-08-2006, 23:04
But it still dont mean that boys should fock around:)
Yeah, I know but if they do, its not seen as much a big deal. But if a girl did, all hell will be let loose....
Destinys_angel
17-08-2006, 23:08
I think the main reason why guys and girls in general are treated different is that girls can get pergnant and guys cant. Parents have a natural tendecy to me slightly more cautious with their daughters.
><
Guys can get pregnant too, didnt u see Junior ?
MizzyBone
17-08-2006, 23:10
Yeh girls r more 'precious' wen it cumz 2 izzat but i still fink that the 'girls can get pregnant' theory is bullshit n shows those kinda parents lack trust...
Girl gets preggers = she has to keep baby
Guy gets away
thats the usual case, most guys would run if they got there bird preggers leaving the parents the 'burden and shame'
Iroquois Pliskin
17-08-2006, 23:10
interesting topic bhav.. *thumbs up* but i don't have a say in this coz well its on a girls perspective..as you said boys can get away with anythin without parents giving a damn.. not for me though.. since i live just with moms and the years gone by she's become more and more religious which has become a drawback.. i bet if ive turned 25-30 and if she's still around im still under serveillance(sp?)
But then surely that implies that the parents have little if any trust for their daughters? They care too much for their name and what people will think. Am sure there's many girls in this world that know how to keep their legs closed and if they DO decide to open them then they would be wise enough to use protection.:)
Marni wots so 'bravo' bout that? U saying u agree? Or that its a good reason? If so i seriously feel for your daughters...:)
Its not that theres no trust in the daughters its that there is no trust in everyone else. Most girls are very good and dont need anyone telling them what to do, but theres always that minority who think its cool to have irresponsible sex.
I think its about playing it by ear, if you know your children well enough you'll know exactly whats good for them.
I on the other hand will keep my daughters look up in a tower 200ft high surrounded by shark infested waters...
hypocrite!
MizzyBone
17-08-2006, 23:13
Its not that theres no trust in the daughters its that there is no trust in everyone else. Most girls are very good and dont need anyone telling them what to do, but theres always that minority who think its cool to have irresponsible sex.
I think its about playing it by ear, if you know your children well enough you'll know exactly whats good for them.
I on the other hand will keep my daughters look up in a tower 200ft high surrounded by shark infested waters...
hypocrite!
they can marry my sonshttp://www.theasianplace.net/forum/images/icons/icon10.gif
they can marry my sonshttp://www.theasianplace.net/forum/images/icons/icon10.gif
what! no way! they're gonna be virgins for the whole of their lives!8o
MizzyBone
17-08-2006, 23:16
what! no way! they're gonna be virgins for the whole of their lives!8o
good lad...I was testin you;)
Yeah, I know but if they do, its not seen as much a big deal. But if a girl did, all hell will be let loose....
Only in traditional families girls are over protected x100
Now we have open minded families who let their girls out and about.
I know many gals in my family who go out and about....
this thread only matters to some family and sure hell it aint mines:)
DJ B4VVY
17-08-2006, 23:17
what! no way! they're gonna be virgins for the whole of their lives!8o
What would be the point of their lives then!
What would be the point of their lives then!
Life is not all about getting laid:p
What would be the point of their lives then!
To serve god...hypocrite!
MizzyBone
17-08-2006, 23:21
Life is not all about getting laid:p
tell me about it, these girls are so randy nowadayshttp://www.theasianplace.net/forum/images/icons/icon10.gif
kwitkicking
17-08-2006, 23:23
Fortunately, my parents aren't as bad. They have used the fact that i'm a girl a few times, and it really pisses me off. For example, before my exams, I was interested in engineering, and I really wanted to do it as a future career, I told my dad and he said no, just because engineering is 'manly'. But then I thought about it, and I don't want to be butch. :D
MizzyBone
17-08-2006, 23:24
But then I thought about it, and I don't want to be butch. :D
Lol are u sure:p
tell me about it, these girls are so randy nowadayshttp://www.theasianplace.net/forum/images/icons/icon10.gif
Men should start wearing the veil to safeguard r dignity:)
Forgived.
17-08-2006, 23:28
Men should start wearing the veil to safeguard r dignity:)
Loll.....depends wher ur dignity is :D
kwitkicking
17-08-2006, 23:33
Lol are u sure:p
Haha, yeah i'm sure!
But then, I could be one of those women who you see in music videos, wearing the most feminine coloured bikin's and skirts!
But, I've changed my mind about future careers for years, and engineering is something I don't see myself doing.
MizzyBone
17-08-2006, 23:34
Loll.....depends wher ur dignity is :D
lol cheeky sod ehkisshug
*AmBiGuOuS*
17-08-2006, 23:35
Well i truely feel 4 half ur lots daughters...:)
Forgived.
17-08-2006, 23:35
lol cheeky sod ehkisshug
Must get it off u ;)
Well i truely feel 4 half ur lots daughters...:)
Im sure our daughter will have a good upbringingkisshug
Iroquois Pliskin
17-08-2006, 23:39
since im a hafiz and i very much think that when i have kids manz will want to see me strict well lets face it.. you see a girl and say she's bullet and get down and dirty not knowing her dad is a molvi.. yes...you're fucked.. in a nutshell.. no one would dare fucc with my daughters..if i have any :D
DJ B4VVY
18-08-2006, 13:27
Life is not all about getting laid:p
You idiot! I meant aren't they supposed to get married and have kids etc...
SweetesT@boo
19-08-2006, 18:47
Ok well the guys can get away with murder, and we are just expected to just sit at home and do all the housework, guys NEVER get forced to do anything like that, they all think it's "the girls" job to do all that kind of stuff, and also my parents hardly ever let me out even if it's during the day or evening yet they let my bruv go out and he comes back at like 5 in the morning sometimes! It's just so unfair http://desiway.com/forum/images/smilies/frown.gif
The way I see it is I can look after myself, and my bruv knows it but whenever I ahve arguements with my parents he ALWAYS takes their side even though I ALWAYS stick up for him when he has arguements with them, I know if I wanted to, I could run my parents but I don't - out of respect and also coz my bruv butts in and takes their side, and he has an answer for EVERYTHING.
Does anyone else get treated like this? I've noticed quite a few Asian girls get the same kind of treatment, but not anymore, even my cousins get more freedom than me and they always used to say stuff to me about having it easy, well it looks to me as thought they're having it easy now!
My parents are like that but its the culture and we have to accept it. I kno its daft but its just like following a religion. You hav to try ur best to follow it and accept the rules, hav faith in it.
My parents hate me going out but im glad they are strict other wise i wouldnt be the person i am today. I do have control over myself and try not to lose the plot. I aint saying im perfect either but if my parents wer to give me alot of freedom, god knows where i'd be. You dont have to be a bad person to get into shit. Everybody goes through it once in there life.
I understand what you mean though. Its like you cant breathe when your stuck at home. Its so annoying when my big bro has summit to say after everything my mum says and he always takes her side but you have to think it this way, if you wer to do summit bad or had a bad habbit, you wouldnt want your youngers to do the same so the only reason our brothers are on our mums side is coz they are right and its also coz they are mammy's boy and dont wanna lose that trust off their mommy.
Its just the way it is. Shit happens and whether we like it or not, it has to be accepted.
DJ B4VVY
19-08-2006, 21:07
My parents are like that but its the culture and we have to accept it. I kno its daft but its just like following a religion. You hav to try ur best to follow it and accept the rules, hav faith in it.
My parents hate me going out but im glad they are strict other wise i wouldnt be the person i am today. I do have control over myself and try not to lose the plot. I aint saying im perfect either but if my parents wer to give me alot of freedom, god knows where i'd be. You dont have to be a bad person to get into shit. Everybody goes through it once in there life.
I understand what you mean though. Its like you cant breathe when your stuck at home. Its so annoying when my big bro has summit to say after everything my mum says and he always takes her side but you have to think it this way, if you wer to do summit bad or had a bad habbit, you wouldnt want your youngers to do the same so the only reason our brothers are on our mums side is coz they are right and its also coz they are mammy's boy and dont wanna lose that trust off their mommy.
Its just the way it is. Shit happens and whether we like it or not, it has to be accepted.
I don't even follow my religion! How can you expect me to accept what my parents do is right, it's worse that they are strict, I've noticed that the kids with strict parents do all kinds of shit behind their parents back which is way worse than if parents gave their kids freedom, atleast they know what they're upto.
Sometimes I wish I was a white girl, they can talk about anything with their parents, and they get on really well with them.
*S*A*N*D*Y*
20-08-2006, 06:48
When I Have Kids.....
I will do make sure they are treated DIFFERENTLY, infact THE opposite to how boys and girls turn out.
This is probly what will happen....
My son would do the
-cooking
-cleaning
-making tea when guests come
-not be allowed to have a Girlfreind
The girl would
-session heavily
-fuck up her exams
-be good for nothing
-sleep all day like
-get EVERYTHING done for her by her parents, from cleaning her bedroom to ironing her clothes lol..
Jattilicious
20-08-2006, 10:16
am d same i gt treatd lyk dat! i h8 it :@
SweetesT@boo
20-08-2006, 17:21
Come on girls, life is full of it! I kno what you mean. I feel the same way to. I want to be able to speak to my parents bout everything but there are some things that you cant discuss with anyone at all.
I kno what you mean by girls doing all sorts behind their parents back due to them being strict but they're jus scared to give you the freedom thinking you cant control urself. I think you should talk to ur parents, bring all the trust back, gain their trust and im sure they'll be okay with you going out but dat dont mean you take the piss!
SweetesT@boo
20-08-2006, 17:22
Bav, if i was ur mum, i would never let you out coz ur gorjus!!!!!! lol
SexyBeast
20-08-2006, 17:28
i think they are just trying to protect you??
Have you ever tried to sit down and chat with em and tell them how you feel? cos ur right bav, eventually its gona end up in you doin summin crazy to rebel and it'll jus end up hurtin every1..
You just need to start shocking them slowly, like stayin out that bit later etc and eventually they'll become used to it.
MizzyBone
20-08-2006, 17:30
When I Have Kids.....
I will do make sure they are treated DIFFERENTLY, infact THE opposite to how boys and girls turn out.
This is probly what will happen....
My son would do the
-cooking
-cleaning
-making tea when guests come
-not be allowed to have a Girlfreind
The girl would
-session heavily
-fuck up her exams
-be good for nothing
-sleep all day like
-get EVERYTHING done for her by her parents, from cleaning her bedroom to ironing her clothes lol..
Your son will probably turn gay and your daughter will probably end up like a druggie or pregnant early on.
SweetesT@boo
20-08-2006, 17:33
I think sandy was jus joking...
MizzyBone
20-08-2006, 17:39
I think sandy was jus joking...
I know so was I :p
^Lol @ you jokers......bananadanc
*S*A*N*D*Y*
20-08-2006, 20:50
I think sandy was jus joking...
Of Course I was joking @)
Firstly I'd like to say to Tabs that your post was amazing. You covered some of what I want to say.
Okay here goes... (one of my long posts again - you don't have to read it)
Being Asian (Desi) automatically means we ARE different to other societies and cultures. Fair enough we're British. Some of you may want to classify yourself as English.
However, your ethnicity is still, Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi etc...
What I've noticed is, as we go down the generations, we're changing dramatically. We will eventually lose our roots. That's fair enough. But ultimately what holds some us into place is our RELIGION.
Culture evolves and it changes with society. Religion should NOT change nor should it evolve. The mere fact it changes with society contradicts the beliefs itself.
Most of my views are based around Islam. However, I can also relate to the views of other beliefs such as Hinduism and Sikhism. People from ALL 3 faiths are not allowed to drink. We're ALL supposed to dress modestly and refrain from committing adultery.
The controversy... (apologies if they offend, but they're my opinions)
What I am about to write is based around ASIAN CULTURE IN WESTERN SOCIETY. Compare the following to NON-ASIAN communities...
Do you think rape is common amongst Asian women?
Do you think alcoholic domestic violence is common amongst Asian households?
Do you think UNDER AGED PREGNANCY is common amongst Asian society?
Do you think divorce is more common amongst Asian society?
I won't waffle on for too long and I'll cut out the detail. But to sum it up, we have traditions. We have morals and principles. Our Asian roots make us amongst the most humble and shy people on the planet!
Surely if we've benefited from our traditions and our religions, then how can it be a bad thing?
We don't have as many daughters raising children whilst they're still in school. We don't have alcoholic husbands beating up our wives. We don't have many of our womens raped. HOW CAN THAT BE A BAD THING?
The fact is... we've become so accustomed to western society that we've forgotten everything our parents have taught us. BELIEVE ME, they know much more than we do in certain aspects of life.
It is NOT about double standards with the sons and the daughters. If Asian girls were let on the loose and allowed as much freedom as other cultures, they would evolve into non-Asians.
I'm not preaching here... but the Holy Qur'an prophesised the events which have been unfolding over the past decade or so and also the events YET to unfold.
Some of them are...
Women will seek to become exactly like men
Women will take mens jobs
Women will dress like men
Women won't respect their husbands
The feminist movement will rise even throughout ALL culturesI can say much much more... but I think you catch my drift.
Criticism welcome and please ask if you wish for me to elaborate on any of my points.
PS. I'd appreciate it if you didn't swear at me lol
DJ B4VVY
21-08-2006, 21:01
i think they are just trying to protect you??
Have you ever tried to sit down and chat with em and tell them how you feel? cos ur right bav, eventually its gona end up in you doin summin crazy to rebel and it'll jus end up hurtin every1..
You just need to start shocking them slowly, like stayin out that bit later etc and eventually they'll become used to it.
I already did that. (One of my longer stories which I won't go into right now)
I stayed out until about 7 once (after I finished work) noone really said anything which I was surprised about coz I told them at the last minute.
But one time I told them that I'm going out after work and my brother called me at half 5 so I ignored it and he rang a few more times, I got really pissed off, so I texed him saying "I told you I'm going out with my work mates" so then he stopped ringing, then a couple of hours later, my mum started ringing, I really felt like switching my phone off! They well pissed me off, so I texed her and said "I'm going out with my friends" then she kept texing me saying "Which friends?" and "Do you know what time it is" and "Come home now, how lmany hours have you been out for" so I thought fuck this and I went clubbing just to piss them off, so then I texed my mum saying "Go to sleep I'm going out, I'll make my own way home" but she still kept ringing until about 12ish then I think she got tired and went to sleep.
MizzyBone
21-08-2006, 21:14
I already did that. (One of my longer stories which I won't go into right now)
I stayed out until about 7 once (after I finished work) noone really said anything which I was surprised about coz I told them at the last minute.
But one time I told them that I'm going out after work and my brother called me at half 5 so I ignored it and he rang a few more times, I got really pissed off, so I texed him saying "I told you I'm going out with my work mates" so then he stopped ringing, then a couple of hours later, my mum started ringing, I really felt like switching my phone off! They well pissed me off, so I texed her and said "I'm going out with my friends" then she kept texing me saying "Which friends?" and "Do you know what time it is" and "Come home now, how lmany hours have you been out for" so I thought fuck this and I went clubbing just to piss them off, so then I texed my mum saying "Go to sleep I'm going out, I'll make my own way home" but she still kept ringing until about 12ish then I think she got tired and went to sleep.
Come agen 7 is late for you??
^^ ma sister dosnt go clubbin i kno she wants to its not the fac i dont trust her, its the fact that amount of people iv pissed off and they havnt got hte balls to come to me so they will do it thru other ways, thats all im worryed about as for her havin boyfriends or that im not bothred, like i told her as long as u dont come crying to me or wreck ur reputations the boys legs will be fine.
Come agen 7 is late for you??
i thought she meant 7 in the mornin, like the times i used to come home before ma dad beat me with a brush
DJ B4VVY
21-08-2006, 21:24
Come agen 7 is late for you??
I've never really been out since I've been living with my parents, unless it was with my brother, but he stopped taking me out since last year. The second time I went out though with my friends, I came back home at half 2ish.
DJ B4VVY
21-08-2006, 21:26
^^ ma sister dosnt go clubbin i kno she wants to its not the fac i dont trust her, its the fact that amount of people iv pissed off and they havnt got hte balls to come to me so they will do it thru other ways, thats all im worryed about as for her havin boyfriends or that im not bothred, like i told her as long as u dont come crying to me or wreck ur reputations the boys legs will be fine.
I know ALL about that one! I've been hit in the face by a guy before coz of that kind of situation.
see when ur a brother u dont think of these things at the time, to me id never hit anyones sister thats jsu cowrdly and bang out of order! pisses me off
Iroquois Pliskin
21-08-2006, 21:33
man I'd love to have a sister..my own blood.. i wanna know whats its like 8(
DJ B4VVY
21-08-2006, 21:42
see when ur a brother u dont think of these things at the time, to me id never hit anyones sister thats jsu cowrdly and bang out of order! pisses me off
Lol, yea you should have seen what happened to that guy afterwards! ;)
ida killed him i swear, yesterday i was at onea ma mates throat for bein snappy with am sister
Ok well the guys can get away with murder, and we are just expected to just sit at home and do all the housework, guys NEVER get forced to do anything like that, they all think it's "the girls" job to do all that kind of stuff, and also my parents hardly ever let me out even if it's during the day or evening yet they let my bruv go out and he comes back at like 5 in the morning sometimes! It's just so unfair http://desiway.com/forum/images/smilies/frown.gif
The way I see it is I can look after myself, and my bruv knows it but whenever I ahve arguements with my parents he ALWAYS takes their side even though I ALWAYS stick up for him when he has arguements with them, I know if I wanted to, I could run my parents but I don't - out of respect and also coz my bruv butts in and takes their side, and he has an answer for EVERYTHING.
Does anyone else get treated like this? I've noticed quite a few Asian girls get the same kind of treatment, but not anymore, even my cousins get more freedom than me and they always used to say stuff to me about having it easy, well it looks to me as thought they're having it easy now!
That's not fair! You should have your own freedom. Take my advice: Take control! Play them at their own game. If they dont listen to you, you dont listen to them!
sorry. not read the whole thread but the first thing i want to say is there's alot of Asian families where there is one standard for males, and another for females. it's all down to the way your parents were brought up., their nurture, and their personal need to "protect" you. in their own way, they're building a cage around you to keep you "safe". without realising they're choking u sometimes.
as for the males, they feel that males do not need "protection" as such as their culture promotes masculinaty in the sense they posess the ability to look after themselves and are not as naive. it's their own ways of thinking and their nurture which makes them treat you like a precious daughter.
i know how it feels too. lol
desimack
07-09-2006, 23:24
I feel as if women need more protection.
Shit I don't know many women who could stand up and fight a lot of the situations I've been in!
I think this is more than just an asian thing. I think theis links in with a debate from a few days back about women and men and whether one was stronger than the other.
The majority of men out in this world are stronger than a majority of women out there, its not opinion its fact. But anyway that is the core reason behind the protective attitude towards women.
It just seems more apparent in with asian girls only because Asian family values are generally more strict, with girls and boys!
I wouldnt let my mother out at night on her own because its more dangerous for her than say my Dad, why cant people accept that?
But obviously life is all about moderation...But all I can say is that I'm glad I aint a woman! lol
:)
DJ B4VVY
08-09-2006, 13:14
I feel as if women need more protection.
Shit I don't know many women who could stand up and fight a lot of the situations I've been in!
Well I'm not like other girls, I'm more like a tomboy, I use my fists if needed
DJ B4VVY
08-09-2006, 13:16
I think this is more than just an asian thing. I think theis links in with a debate from a few days back about women and men and whether one was stronger than the other.
The majority of men out in this world are stronger than a majority of women out there, its not opinion its fact. But anyway that is the core reason behind the protective attitude towards women.
It just seems more apparent in with asian girls only because Asian family values are generally more strict, with girls and boys!
I wouldnt let my mother out at night on her own because its more dangerous for her than say my Dad, why cant people accept that?
But obviously life is all about moderation...But all I can say is that I'm glad I aint a woman! lol
:)
I don't think it's about whether you are female or not, it's about if you can handle situations you get yourself into
SweetesT@boo
08-09-2006, 13:59
I already did that. (One of my longer stories which I won't go into right now)
I stayed out until about 7 once (after I finished work) noone really said anything which I was surprised about coz I told them at the last minute.
But one time I told them that I'm going out after work and my brother called me at half 5 so I ignored it and he rang a few more times, I got really pissed off, so I texed him saying "I told you I'm going out with my work mates" so then he stopped ringing, then a couple of hours later, my mum started ringing, I really felt like switching my phone off! They well pissed me off, so I texed her and said "I'm going out with my friends" then she kept texing me saying "Which friends?" and "Do you know what time it is" and "Come home now, how lmany hours have you been out for" so I thought fuck this and I went clubbing just to piss them off, so then I texed my mum saying "Go to sleep I'm going out, I'll make my own way home" but she still kept ringing until about 12ish then I think she got tired and went to sleep.
Now this is wer you went wrong. If your gonna be taking the piss then any mum wont even let you out. Your mum could be worse nd get you married at an early age so that your life doesnt get fucked up without even realising it might get even more fucked up. She could also beat you up every night you cum back from wrk so you dnt go out. They only do it for your protection. Dont get me wrong but i kno how you feel coz it happens to me but you have to kinda try hard to keep ur family happy nd not break their trust. Some family's are more strict than others. You jus hav to appreciate and except the family you hav coz there are ppl having a worse time than you. I kno that is hard to do nd you need to breathe but make a start now, like go out with ur friends in the afternoon nd take ur mum so that she knows what you get up to. Make it into a routine nd then one day if you go out with ur mum she'll trust you.
SweetesT@boo
08-09-2006, 14:04
I know ALL about that one! I've been hit in the face by a guy before coz of that kind of situation.
And this is another reason why they dont let you out. They're jus protecting you!
SweetesT@boo
08-09-2006, 14:16
Firstly I'd like to say to Tabs that your post was amazing. You covered some of what I want to say.
bananadanc
$xy $onz
08-09-2006, 14:25
its not jus wiv asian families it apens wiv evry1 but its jus mor noticeable wiv asians 4 sum reason lol
parents b lyk dat cuz dey fink dey doin da ryt fing 4 us n dont want nufin apenin 2 us evn tho we want 2 b free but dey hav different opinions 2 us because dey r old minded n its differnt knw adays but sum parents dnt understand dat cuz dey prefer 2 beleiv wat dey wna believ
jassi_bmw
08-09-2006, 14:30
its not jus wiv asian families it apens wiv evry1 but its jus mor noticeable wiv asians 4 sum reason lol
parents b lyk dat cuz dey fink dey doin da ryt fing 4 us n dont want nufin apenin 2 us evn tho we want 2 b free but dey hav different opinions 2 us because dey r old minded n its differnt knw adays but sum parents dnt understand dat cuz dey prefer 2 beleiv wat dey wna believ
well, to be honest, none of the girls ive been out wiv have had this kind of problem.lol
and most of them were asain
i think cuz maybe, they wanted someone wiv them,
who their families could trust
(they always think their daughters are sooo innocent, theyre realy not)@)
$xy $onz
08-09-2006, 14:47
well, to be honest, none of the girls ive been out wiv have had this kind of problem.lol
and most of them were asain
i think cuz maybe, they wanted someone wiv them,
who their families could trust
(they always think their daughters are sooo innocent, theyre realy not)@)
i didnt say evry asian lolzz its jus sum parents stil fink bkwards im glad myn ent dat bad lolz
oxRIMAxo
08-09-2006, 14:58
My parents used to go with what "society says"...but they really eased up about 5/6 years ago..My parents are old but their mentality is much more understanding than most parents these days..They don't stop me from doing anything I don't wna do which is scary for me - because it makes me be more careful in what I get up to and be more responsible. I respect their trust so I'm not abusing it by doing drugs or anything. Most of what i get up to, they know about.
DJ B4VVY
08-09-2006, 19:12
Now this is wer you went wrong. If your gonna be taking the piss then any mum wont even let you out. Your mum could be worse nd get you married at an early age so that your life doesnt get fucked up without even realising it might get even more fucked up. She could also beat you up every night you cum back from wrk so you dnt go out. They only do it for your protection. Dont get me wrong but i kno how you feel coz it happens to me but you have to kinda try hard to keep ur family happy nd not break their trust. Some family's are more strict than others. You jus hav to appreciate and except the family you hav coz there are ppl having a worse time than you. I kno that is hard to do nd you need to breathe but make a start now, like go out with ur friends in the afternoon nd take ur mum so that she knows what you get up to. Make it into a routine nd then one day if you go out with ur mum she'll trust you.
I work until 5 o clock! And that's evening, plus there's nothing much to do around here that's why we go out drinking and that is best done at night! Also, my parents can't tell me what to do, they can complain about what I do all they like, but they can't stop me from doing shit coz they know what will happen, you see somany things have gone wrong with my life and I'm at the point where I don't give a fuck about anything anymore, I just wanna do what I wanna do, I'm almost 22 ffs! And yes they are looking to get me married off, but they know they can't force me to do that either, they know what will happen, I have warned them about it
DJ B4VVY
08-09-2006, 19:14
And this is another reason why they dont let you out. They're jus protecting you!
They have no idea what I'm really like though, I'm like a bloke, they don't realise that I'm not into all the girly things like going shopping, getting my hair/nails done, make up, fashion etc all that kinda bullshit, I'd much rather chill with my friends, have a few drinks, smoke, chill out and dance! bananadanc
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